# The niceness barrier By:: [[Brian Heath]] 2022-08-22 Nice used to mean being silly, but today in America it mostly means being agreeable and positive. In many ways nice people and organizations are great to be around. I don't think anybody would choose mean over nice in most situations. However, there is a price to the culture of niceness: it is a barrier to truth. Have you ever been in a situation with a group of nice people trying to make a decision as mundane as where to go for dinner? It is painful. No one wants to make a decision that doesn't consider everyone else's needs. So, you go around in circles until someone finally stops being agreeable and states their opinion and desire. This is their truth, but they must [[sacrifice]] their niceness level. All of a sudden this person is now a little bit closer to being "that person" who is "bossy" and "doesn't belong." This happens all of the time in a culture of niceness. So, what happens if the culture is so strong that no one is willing to step out? Everything will eventually become bland, boring, and fake. In other words, interactions become inauthentic and eventually everyone is miserable with a happy smile on their face. Achieving something great or true or revolutionary in an overly nice culture is impossible. At some point someone has to say their truth. This is not to say we should go around insulting and stabbing each other. There is being an asshole and then there is being honest and considerate. You can still respect and care for others while being honest and authentic. But, if you find yourself surrounded by an overly nice culture, then you might have to be "that person" who steps out of line for the greater good. It will come with a price, but also a quiet thank you from like-minded individuals. #### Related Items [[Niceness]] [[Authenticity]] [[Culture]] [[Honesty]]