# High-Fives By:: [[Ross Jackson]] 2022-10-05 I read an opinion piece yesterday in which the author insisted that adults should not give high-fives to children. My initial assessment was that person is an asshole. After reflecting on the article my subsequent assessment is that my initial assessment was correct. The person’s point was that high-fives should be exclusively shared among peers, and to maintain the power distance between adults and children the two groups should never share high-fives.  Two thoughts came to mind. First, I was so glad I had my parents as I was growing up and not that person as one of them. Second, I thought about power distance, managers and subordinates, and how a debate similar to the one about high-fives takes place in organizations. The degree of power distance is certainly something to consider. My perspective is that adults should high-five children as much as they can. Again, this is likely among the most lasting lessons from my childhood. I grew up with a very low power distance. The younger adults in our neighborhood (i.e., those with children rather than grandchildren) told us (i.e., the children) to call them by their first names. In addition to not giving high-fives, the author also noted adults should never permit children to call them by their first name. So, my experience with authority was that those at an obviously different stratum took efforts to humanize themselves for those at the lower strata. They allowed us to be on a first-name basis with them, they gave us the peace sign from across the road, and when we did something worthy of celebration, they gave us high-fives. Adults took several steps to minimize the obvious power distance concerning children. No child in my neighborhood ever confused these acts of humanizing inherent power dynamics with the notion that adults and children were peers.  Management has power. There is no doubt about that fact. There are symbolic and real manifestations of that power everywhere, every day around the office. Being human does nothing to lessen a manager’s organizational power. Standing aloof from those with whom one works neither makes the manager more powerful nor makes that power more enduring. It simply makes one a jerk. Next time I can, I plan to give a high five to a disserving subordinate and smile inside at how much it would irk that sad person who thinks it is somehow dangerous or inappropriate to acknowledge our shared humanity. #### Related Items [[Assholes]] [[Management]] [[Power]]