# Exposure, Growth, and Friendship By:: [[Brian Heath]] 2024-02-19 Outgrowing one's friends is a common occurrence. Rarely is one still friends with people they went to grade school with. Often, these were friends of proximity. One was around them via societal and geographic norms, so one developed these friendships due to exposure and shared experiences. As one grows up, goes to different schools, and changes jobs, one's friends of proximity naturally shift. However, some friendships will persist regardless of these life transitions. These are closer to one's true friends, with whom one shares something deeper than exposure and experience. One could say these friends are kindred spirits. Many people think the types of friendships end here, but at least a third type exists. This friendship resembles the previous 'true friendship' because it lasts many life transitions. But, eventually, this third type of friendship also begins to fade. Typically, it fades due to slower and more subtle changes in beliefs and values. We usually think adults do not develop, but this is only true for some. While many never develop new beliefs and values beyond high school, some will continue their journey through their 20s and beyond. However, at any point, someone may cease to develop further and remain rigid. If one has walked side-by-side with a friend for many years but either stops growing, the odds of the friendship's survival slowly decrease. One may remain 'friendly' with this former friend, but many will refuse to see it for what it is: a transition from friendship to close acquittance. Things will drift off into the distance unless both individuals stop or continue their growth together. I doubt there is little any individual can do to convince a friend to grow or stop growing. The slow erosion might be the most socially and personally painful, but it is no different than moving across the country as a teenager. The friendship is intrinsically over, and now one talks to them about the weather, sports, and other random events without meaning, also known as small talk. #### Related Items [[Friends]] [[Society]] [[People]] [[Norms]] [[Culture]] [[Beliefs]] [[Value]] [[Progress]] [[Life]]