# Dealing with a Neurotic Manager By:: [[Brian Heath]] 2024-08-17 There are two valuable ways to deal with a stressed or upset manager. The first is to fall on the sword, take on the extra work, and relieve their burden somehow. This is akin to lightening their load by taking on your shoulders. Most managers will feel immediately relieved in some way. However, this approach's downside is that one is now responsible and likely accountable for the manager's load. One will naturally be drawn to this solution if one is highly conscientious and moderately agreeable. One wants to avoid challenging the manager, is eager to please, and likely knows ways to handle the load better simply because one works hard as a general rule. This positions one to be first in line for promotion and additional perks by being the person the manager can count on. Of course, if one does a horrible job, this will backfire with lasting consequences. One must calculate whether the burden is worth the effort, risks, and potential rewards. For example, it could be that the manager is freaking out because they have one too many things on their plate and that these one or two things are straightforward to do but seem overwhelming to the manager at that moment. Here, one could take this burden, deliver efficiently, and be the hero. However, this brings about a second approach: guide the manager through their situation, list the items, prioritize them, and resolve to make an action plan for the items that need attention. If one can get the manager to go through this, one will likely find that things are not that bad and that perhaps only a few minor tweaks are needed. When humans get stressed or upset, we stop thinking, get caught in feedback loops, and fail to put things into perspective. Listing and prioritizing allow managers to reengage their frontal cortex and calm down. After the storm, one will often find things are all right. In this approach, the manager will likely feel unburdened without passing any workload. So, one has helped as an advisor and kept one's workload intact. One is likely drawn to this approach if one is lower in agreeableness but still high in conscientiousness, as one still wants to help but generally disagrees with the manager's assessment of the situation. The hard part of this approach is getting the manager to go through the exercise without challenging their authority and ego. It is a delicate situation that requires high levels of tact and trust. If one does it poorly, one will be quickly disliked, especially when the manager is neurotic. But, if one is successful, one will soon be associated with having leadership potential and a close advisor. Both paths create a means to rise within the organization, with different trade-offs. Where one goes depends on who one is and wants to be. #### Related Items [[Personality]] [[Management]] [[Leadership]] [[Strategy]] [[Psychology]] [[Reflection]] [[Decision-making]]