# Advice from Strangers By:: [[Brian Heath]] 2023-09-18 Should one take advice from a stranger? For example, one posts a situation to a social media site, and strangers comment. While the strangers are entitled to their opinions, they are unlikely to know enough context to provide meaningful insight. Beyond general public reaction, dubious at best on any social media site, stranger comments are rarely informative. In all likelihood, one will reject the comments one disagrees with and accept ones that bolster one's desired response. As Erica Jong says, "Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't." If this is the case, one asks strangers for advice until one "discovers" through brute force the answer they are already seeking. It is interesting to consider if this extends to those who know about one's situation (e.g., friends, family, etc.). It certainly does. Does one ask a conservative friend for liberal advice? No. There is undoubtedly gray space where this only sometimes holds, but someone's advice changing one's mind is exceedingly rare. For that to happen, one must be mindful and self-reflective. Also, one must have a trusting and caring relationship with the advice-giver based on solidarity and authenticity. If these conditions do not exist, one looks for justification for decisions one has already made. #### Related Items [[Questions]] [[Social Media]] [[Strangers]] [[Advice]] [[Decision-making]] [[Solidarity]] [[Authenticity]]